OOM: Driving Lessons

[the_gene_genie]

Gene holds the door open for her with a small smile. The view outside is of a street, red brick houses and a car parked on the corner. There's a high-rise behind the houses; it's all typically 70s. If Kate looks back behind them when the door's closed, she'll see a regular looking pub with a sign hanging near the door, declaring it to be The Railway Arms.

She'll also see Gene standing stock still, glaring at her like she's standing right in his way. Which she is, as far as he's concerned. She might also note that there is not a single spark of recognition on his face.

'You gonna shift yer arse, luv, or am I goin' to 'ave t'do it for ya?'

Comments

[ikissdhimbck]

"Should I be taking notes?"

That is, once she can move again.

[the_gene_genie]

'Only if you're even more blonde than you look,' he retorts, over the squeal of tyres as they skid round a corner.

Seeing as he's blonde, this is possibly a bit cheeky.

[ikissdhimbck]

Kate's never heard a blonde joke in her life.

We dare you, Gene Hunt. We dare you.

[the_gene_genie]

He's surprised at the lack of comeback to that; most blondes give him lip when he says something along those lines. It obviously doesn't occur to him that she wouldn't know that blonde girls are there to be made fun of, so just figures he has to try a bit harder.

'Tell me somethin', luv, 'cos I've always wanted t'ask a blonde bird this - d'you put lipstick on your forehead when you wan' t'make up yer mind?'

[ikissdhimbck]

"The hell are y'talkin' about?"

[the_gene_genie]

He cackles a laugh and skids around another corner, honking loudly at a bloke who had the temerity to try and step out into the road.

'Oh c'mon, like you 'aven't heard a blonde joke before. How abou' this one - d'you take a ruler t'bed to see how long you sleep? GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU BASTARD!'

...the last bit is directed at another car, not at her.

[ikissdhimbck]

She swears he hasn't drank that much.

"Blonde joke?"

She holds onto the dash to keep herself from being thrown through the car.

"I don't get what's so funny."

[the_gene_genie]

He snaps his head round to look at her, swerving over the street and causing someone to yell from the pavement.

'Come on. Everyone's heard blonde jokes before - or don' they 'ave a sense of humour in America?'

Wouldn't surprise him if they didn't.

[ikissdhimbck]

"Jee-zus!"

The only way Kate knows Gene didn't just kill someone is because there's no blood on the windshield.

"Sure, we got senses of humor. Y'hear the one about the blonde copper who went horseback ridin'?"

[the_gene_genie]

'...no?'

He glances back at her again, puzzled. He doesn't get it.

'Mounted plod are twats anyway. Coppers on horses? It's for ponces who don' like gettin' their hands dirty.'

They're nearly there. Two more streets to go.

[ikissdhimbck]

...Gene is going to kill her, once they're back in the bar.


"Couldn't tell his ass from 'is neck."

[the_gene_genie]

'...an' you thought mine weren't funny.'

The pub's in sight. He can practically taste the ale. There're no idiots getting in his way so he just floors it. The engine roars, the car leaps forward and...

...tarmac is replaced with grass, houses with trees.

'What the...bloody 'ell is goin' on...!'