OOM: Driving Lessons

[the_gene_genie]

Gene holds the door open for her with a small smile. The view outside is of a street, red brick houses and a car parked on the corner. There's a high-rise behind the houses; it's all typically 70s. If Kate looks back behind them when the door's closed, she'll see a regular looking pub with a sign hanging near the door, declaring it to be The Railway Arms.

She'll also see Gene standing stock still, glaring at her like she's standing right in his way. Which she is, as far as he's concerned. She might also note that there is not a single spark of recognition on his face.

'You gonna shift yer arse, luv, or am I goin' to 'ave t'do it for ya?'

Comments

[the_gene_genie]

'It is easy,' he insists, but then shuts up because she's clearly concentrating and he doesn't want to break that while she's at the wheel of his beloved. He manages to bite back every comment that springs to mind when she stalls - every time she stalls - though there are a few noticable winces that he can't quite suppress.

When she successfully hits second though, he grins openly.

'There ya go. You're drivin'.'

...


...


...yeah, they're running out of space.

'OK, now turn us round. You'll 'ave t'put your back into it, this baby weren't built for lasses. Nice wide turn to the left, point us th' other way and we'll get you in third.'

[ikissdhimbck]

He tells her to put her back into it, and so she does. Arms that have spent the last two years (and most of her childhood) hauling hay bales, mucking stalls, breaking horses, and working farmland, pull hard to the left. The result isn't a nice, wide turn at 30 miles an hour, but something much tighter.

Tires slide in the dirt without pavement or asphalt to give them that nice, high-pitched squeal. But they are turned around, and so (heart racing) Kate calls this a win.

"Whoopsie-daisy."

[the_gene_genie]

'...an' I thought we were gonna leave th' tricks until next time.'

That'll be Gene going straight for his hipflask.

'I swear t'God woman, if you break this car...'

OK, breathe.

And again.

'...go for third. Everythin' the same as last time, only when the gearstick's in neutral, just push it straight forward.'

[ikissdhimbck]

"Jus' followin' instructions," she sing-songs. "Wasn't straight forward 'first'?"

[the_gene_genie]

'No. First was to th' side an' up. Second was straight back.'

Now he's worried that she's the type to forget everything they're told and he'll have to repeat everything twenty times.

'An' I didn't tell you to pull the wheel around like you're steerin' a galleon. I know women aren' renowned for their common sense bu' make an effort, eh?'

[ikissdhimbck]

She glances over her shoulder and fixes him with an icy look.

"I'll do my best, Mr. Hunt."

Eyes straight ahead, she shifts the car into third.

(This time, she doesn't look quite as contrite when the gears grind.)

"Maybe y'should look into teaching. You'd be great with children."

[the_gene_genie]

'Shove off.'

Well, that's blunt enough to convey what he thinks of that idea.

He's gripping the dashboard rather harder now, as they're going faster, there's less space to drive in and she's grinding his gears.

'Alright...into fourth, then tha's it. Five seconds in fourth, no more. Then start shiftin' back down an' hit the brakes before you take us through those houses over the road.'

She could, of course, go through all the gears driving in a wide circle but after that little skid, he's not going to suggest it. He wouldn't want the back end to slide out and hit any piles of stone.

[ikissdhimbck]

Blunt, and hilarious. Kate laughs, and for a moment she really does look like a bat out of hell.

"Christ, your girl is fast!"

It's terror and approval, all rolled into one. Because now that she's gotten herself into fourth, she's got to get herself back to being stopped without, as he pointed out, taking them through the houses over yonder.

Grinning broadly, she waits the full five seconds before shifting down. Or maybe it's closer to six. Or seven. Oh well, no matter.

[the_gene_genie]

'...bloody slow down you daft mare!!'

Oh yeah, that sounds a bit like panic and his knuckles are white. They do seem to be approaching the road quite a lot quicker than he'd like.

'Straight into second or we're gonna crash! Hit the bloody brakes.'

[ikissdhimbck]

She's already shifting down, and despite his rising panic she does have the presence of mind to remember that the wheel controls the direction the car moves in.

With plenty of room to spare, she turns -- slowly, testing to see how much it takes to get the car to move -- while she drops into second. It's not the smoothest transition in the world, with all her anxiety about stopping on time. The car groans and bucks plenty as she drops gears. But, she manages it without stalling and without crashing.

The car coasts a few feet, going maybe 5 miles an hour, and then comes to an abrupt stop. So, she needs a bit of work on style. But she's got the basic mechanics.

She turns to look at him. A piece of blonde hair has come loose from her headband, and she blows it out of her face.

"How's that?"

[the_gene_genie]

He may actually be having a heart attack.

'...yeah. Fine.'



Oh God, his car.


'Think you've 'ad enough for today?'

Oh God, please.

[ikissdhimbck]

She manages not to laugh. Manages not even to smile.

(It still seems too soon. The grief, too fresh.)

She nods.

"Think it's a start."

[the_gene_genie]

He visibly, visibly, relaxes.

'OK. If you're sure you've 'ad enough.'

Fag. Fagfagfag. And Scotch. He downs half his flask in one and then offers it over to her.

'Think we need t'repair to the pub for a proper drink.'

And in case she gets any ideas;

'I'm drivin'. Out you get.'

[ikissdhimbck]

She almost teases him.

Well, if you're offering, I could stand a few more laps...

But she thinks better of it.

Reaching for the flask, she knocks back a grateful shot and nods her concession.

"What? Don't think I'm ready for the road yet?"

Smirk.

[the_gene_genie]

To his credit, he attempts tact!

'Christ no.'

...and fails.

'But you're alrigh', for your firs' go. Into fourth an' back down, nice side-skid in the turn. You'll be alrigh'.'

Yes, he's the sort of driving instructor that will teach handbrake turns and proper badass wheel spins.

'Now out.'

[ikissdhimbck]

Well, it's only fair, seeing as how Kate does plan on keeping her promise to teach him how to shoot while riding; and, should he ask, any other tricks in the saddle he might like to learn.

She grins proudly, because a you'll be alrigh' is practically a gold star coming from Gene.

"All right, all right."

She gets out of the car and circles around to the passenger side, still carrying his hip flask.

[the_gene_genie]

...she should probably rephrase that before offering, unless she wants to listen to a lewd suggestion or twenty.

But in the meantime, he's bouncy again (though he does trail his hand over the bonnet of the Cortina on his way round to the drivers side, partly to reassure the car and partly to apologise to it) and pulling his spare 'flask out, seeing as she's nicked his.

'Right then!' he declares, as soon as he's back where he belongs. 'One last lesson. Watch.'

He starts the car, bangs it into second and revs the hell out the engine, making it scream and the wheels start to spin. He laughs as dirt and gravel flies up behind them, then releases the clutch and shoots off in a whirl of burning rubber and noise and flying dirt.

'Wheel spin. Very important thing t'learn.'

If anything, he's even more reckless on the road this time as if showing her how its done right.

[ikissdhimbck]

"Should I be taking notes?"

That is, once she can move again.

[the_gene_genie]

'Only if you're even more blonde than you look,' he retorts, over the squeal of tyres as they skid round a corner.

Seeing as he's blonde, this is possibly a bit cheeky.

[ikissdhimbck]

Kate's never heard a blonde joke in her life.

We dare you, Gene Hunt. We dare you.

[the_gene_genie]

He's surprised at the lack of comeback to that; most blondes give him lip when he says something along those lines. It obviously doesn't occur to him that she wouldn't know that blonde girls are there to be made fun of, so just figures he has to try a bit harder.

'Tell me somethin', luv, 'cos I've always wanted t'ask a blonde bird this - d'you put lipstick on your forehead when you wan' t'make up yer mind?'

[ikissdhimbck]

"The hell are y'talkin' about?"

[the_gene_genie]

He cackles a laugh and skids around another corner, honking loudly at a bloke who had the temerity to try and step out into the road.

'Oh c'mon, like you 'aven't heard a blonde joke before. How abou' this one - d'you take a ruler t'bed to see how long you sleep? GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU BASTARD!'

...the last bit is directed at another car, not at her.

[ikissdhimbck]

She swears he hasn't drank that much.

"Blonde joke?"

She holds onto the dash to keep herself from being thrown through the car.

"I don't get what's so funny."

[the_gene_genie]

He snaps his head round to look at her, swerving over the street and causing someone to yell from the pavement.

'Come on. Everyone's heard blonde jokes before - or don' they 'ave a sense of humour in America?'

Wouldn't surprise him if they didn't.